How to build a strong marriage by Nicky Lee

This is not written by me, but this is really true. Scripture is taken from Colossians 3:12-17 NIV. It was preach by Nicky & Sila Lee

There are four principals of putting on love (4 P’s)

· Be Proactive

“...clothe yourself with kindness” (v.12)

Kindness is about doing or saying something which is an action that brings pleasure to others. In marriage, it is so easy to be reactive, for example being reactive towards conflicts. Being proactive is about focusing on each other’s needs rather than each other’s behaviour, just as Jesus came to meet our needs by dying on the cross for our sins.

Be Patience

“...clothe yourself with patience” (v.12)

Relationships are spoilt through being quick tempered and when we allow anger that is buried to become hate.

“Bear with each other ... forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (v. 13 & v.14)

The key to bearing with one another is to forgive as the Lord forgave us. Nicky Lee highlighted to us that forgiveness is not just an occasional act but it is a permanent attitude.

However, forgiveness does not mean that one should not bother when our personal needs are not met. Instead, we need to tell our partner when we are hurt (Matthew 18). However, even when the other does not apologise, we still ought to forgive and entrust the matter to God (Romans 12).

·

Be Positive

“...be thankful” (v.15)

“...sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God” (v.16)

“...giving thanks to God” (v.17)

Negative people are hard to be around or live with. Positive people, on the other hand, are encouraging people. They express appreciation for others and the things around. Paul writes in whatever situations, there is so much to be happy about and have gratitude towards God.

One of the exercises that Nicky shared in their marriage course is that couples were asked to write down their appreciation to their partner. Through these exercise, many couples have been blessed by expressing their appreciations to one another. The more we express our appreciation, the more we will appreciate each other.

· Be Peaceful

“Let the peace of Christ rule in your heart” (v.15)

Let us be full of God’s peace so that when we have peace on the inside, it will be expressed outwardly. When God is in the centre of our marriages, love is set in order. As Christians we are God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, and from this love should flow naturally from each of us.